Last Sunday morning’s Youth Service I continued my series on Basic Christian doctrine. Right now we are exegetically going through Matthew 5, 6, and 7, other wise known as Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. Sunday I went over “Blessed are those who Mourn” better translated “Happy are those who Mourn, for they shall be comforted.” It got me thinking about a crazy experience I had a number of years ago. This story would be the antithesis of Jesus’ exhortation; a sorta “what not to do”. Either way, the story:
The Wedding that could’ve waited
If you have read here enough you now know that for a number of years I was a professional wedding DJ. I spent three years worth of weekends Dj-ing everytype of wedding, at every type of venue you can possibly imagine within a 100 mile radius of Kansas City. The worst wedding I ever DJed was back in the summer of 2004. The wedding reception was about 45 minutes away in an old barn just outside of Clinton Missouri.
I showed up at the barn an hour and a half before the reception as per usual. It was always a bit of an adventure to walk into a venue to see what you had to work with set up wise. I walked in to survey the lay out and figure out the best place to put my lights, Sound System etc. As I walked toward the old stage at the other end of the dusty room, I heard subtle sobs from the kitchen at the back of the auditorium. I figured it was nothing, as you learn, sometimes weddings are just emotional for people. You learn to keep your head down, mind your business, make people have fun, and you’ll 
get paid well.
I pulled up my truck to the back door, and begin unloading my equipment. Poles, Light Cans, Amps, Speakers, it was the one part of the job I disliked the most. As I was hoisting one of the 60 pound Speakers above my head to set a top a pole, I was startled by horrific sounds come from the kitchen. Nearly dropping the speaker on my head, I regained control and got it up. I turned and ran toward the kitchen thinking maybe someone had been hurt. I walked in to find three older woman dressed up for the wedding, huddled together on the ground screaming, crying, and sobbing. Since it didn’t seem to be a physical injury, I paused a little hoping the wails of mourning would subside long enough to find out what was going on. I went and grabbed a tissue box I had seen in the lobby earlier. I placed my hand on one woman’s back to console her and hand her the box. Her lip quivering as she looked up at me and simply said, “He’s dead!”
It took the women about fifteen minutes more to gather their composer. The woman I handed the tissue box to pulled the other ladies up, “Alright girls, we gotta pull it together! There’s work to be done yet”. Puzzled, I asked her what was going on. Straightening her dress and wiping her eyes so as to keep the black mascara under them in place, she tells me the story:
“The bridal party was driving back from Kansas City this morning and The groom’s father Chet decided to stay behind to get something special for his son on his ‘Big Day’. He was running late to the pictures before the ceremony, so he was a speed’n down hwy 50. He took a corner a little sharp as did the guy on the other side of the road. They hit head on, and he died instantly. The Police officer that responded, saw the wedding gift and invitation and sped up here to inform us about 30 minutes ago. Oh God! How could this happen!”
She was interrupted by her own sobbing that had started again. At this point I too had tears. I put my arm around the lady and comforted her. I assumed that the wedding was called off for the day. Once she regained her composer I told her to tell the Bride I’ll tear up the contract, and come back and do it for free whenever they decide to reschedule. She got very firm with me. She grabbed my hands tightly, “Don’t you dare do anything of the sort! We are having this wedding today and you are the paid entertainment! Now you buck up, finish setting up your equipment and show this crowd the best night of their lives Or I wont pay you a single penny! you understand!?” One thing I’ve learned about older mid-west women, when they demand something of you there is only one reply that will suffice: “Yes maam”. That was mine.
An hour went by after I had completely set up my equipment, and people were finally starting to trickle in. Normally when the guests trickle in from a ceremony they are generally happy, shaking hands with people they haven’t seen in a long time, lots of smiles, hugs, etc. Not this group; It was like watching a bad Sean Penn movie. One of the ladies was even standing at the entrance passing out tissues to the misty eyed people walking in. Meanwhile I’m sitting behind my sound board on stage praying that they at least decide to cancel the reception. I look at my watch, and it’s time for me to stand outside and greet the Bride and Groom.
The limousine pulls up about fifteen minutes late carrying the bride, groom, and entire wedding party. I help them out and put them into a line in the order I’m going to announce them. The groom takes a minute, but emerges from the limo. I pull him and the bride aside. “I heard what happened. The food is ready to go- why don’t we announce you guys, eat, do the formalities all at the front end, so we can end early and get you out of here.” “NO WAY!” The bride says “You are going to make us party! His dad would’ve wanted it! We singed a contract for 6 hours, now I expect you to perform the full 6 hours. You got it!?” Continuing with my learned wisdom concerning mid west women I replied, “Yes Maam”.
As you can imagine the next 6 hours felt like 6 weeks. The Father of the bride paid extra to make the bar completely open. In the two hours it took to get through dinner to the cake cutting, I already had a guy on the ground passed out drunk. It only took those two hours to figure out the groups’ collective strategy for dealing with grief: suppress it with entertainment and alcohol… LOTS of alcohol. Finally my time was coming to an end. Most of the people had gone except the bride and groom’s families and their dates. I programed my computer to an auto pilot song list, and spent the last two hours outside trying to escape the madness. The bride was passed out laying on top of one of the tables, and the groom was twirling on the dance floor with his pants on his head as his friends laughed and poured beer out on the floor in “memory” of his dad.
11pm meant I was off the clock as far as the contract was concerned. I walked back in to a room of drunken zombies. Many passed out, ones that weren’t were almost there. I figured I couldn’t leave until I knew that they all had a way to get home safely, as no one was in any condition to drive. The owner of the barn said he had a bunk house, so we helped 
everyone in. But it was a sad state of affairs- and reminds me how happy I am that I don’t have that job any more.
Often I notice this scenario with friends, family, on Facebook, in the news. Our cultural strategy to deal with pain, to deal with sin, to deal with shame, is simply to cover it up. We try to do everything we can to distract ourselves from anything that is hard or painful. As a culture we are monumentally afraid that Nietzsche was right when he said “if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes into you.” We are afraid of pain, afraid of sadness. We are afraid of that moment before we sleep when the bed room door is closed and we have nothing but our pain and grief starring us in the face. We are afraid to embrace the pain, embrace the grief, embrace mourning.
Sigh…
Oh but there is hope! We are created beings. Beings with purpose. Beings that operate most efficiently when we follow the instruction manual we’ve been given. Jesus lays out these instructions in Matthew 5,6, and 7. He gives us the road to happiness. He tells us that the only way to deal with the pain of sin and circumstance is to mourn it- not ignore it.
“Happy are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” The promise is comfort. Grieving brings freedom to our hearts, ignoring it restricts our hearts. It robs us the ability to love well, and fosters shame and bitterness in our hearts. When pain and hardship come, like the loss of a loved one, mourning them is vital to keeping one’s heart alive. I pray for those families from that wedding often. I pray the Father compels their hearts Christ so they can know the wisdom of functioning the way they were created to. There is real hope and fulfilling comfort for all those that give themselves to Christ.
“The Steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to and end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” –Lamentations 3:22-23
Struggles in life are common. Everyone has their kryptonite when it comes to having a consistent and fruitful relationship with the living God. In my adolescent days pornography was the temptation and stumbling block that I had to overcome. In my adult years, the green rock that drains all hope and strength from my heart and soul is anxiety. A few years ago it was common for me to lie in bed breaking into a hot sweat, anxious about any gamut of things life can make one anxious about. At times I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. Tossing and turning trying to calm down my fears. My problem fed a psychosis of fear that I thought would never break. It got so bad that even with nothing to fear I would fear sleep itself. I was a afraid I wouldn’t be able to sleep, and if I missed a night of sleep I’d worry that I would miss the next night of sleep then the next, ultimately ending in death. I know sounds absolutely absurd, and it is, but fear has the all inclusive ability to overtake one’s entire thoughts and emotions. For me this is what fear did, it took away my dignity and convinced me that I was a lesser man then I was.
I figured spiritual discipline was the answer to my problem. I filled my time reading books like St. John of the Cross’ 
“Dark night of the Soul” and St. Bonaventure’s “The life of St. Francis”. Now don’t get me wrong, I love spiritual disciplines and I love some of the Old Catholic Saints even if some of their conclusions would be best thrown out, but I feel the same way about Luther and Calvin. I would pace in my bed room with my Bible open praying in the Spirit, asking forgiveness for every sin I had ever committed. I would break off curses, bind the enemy, and chastise myself for feeling so anxious. Then once I had finished repenting I concluded that God still wasn’t pleased with my attempt at devotion because I still had anxiety lingering. I rescheduled my time so I spent 12 hours a day in prayer, studied theology during my none prayer time, and worked out in order to “buffet my body”. These times were not innately fruitless; I got in shape, got a handle on scripture like never before, and probably read about 3 large theological books a week. As far as discipline goes it was a good schedule. As far as my heart and understanding of God goes, there was much to be desired.
This season of my life culminated into a single weekend that ultimately changed my heart and outlook on God forever. It was obvious to my friends and fellow workers in ministry that I needed some sort of break. I had been on this rigorous schedule for about a year and the pleasantness I had once carried had faded. I was becoming depressed, and anxiety was growing not weakening. I decided to take a three day break at a retreat center up in the woods. Staying in the vein of discipline I decided not to take anything but my Bible, Fire Within by Thomas Dubay, and a notepad. I figured I’d do some hiking, do some writing, and meet God in any way I possibly could. Instead of my time being relaxing, my time was tormenting. I spent all three days weeping over my inability to connect with God. I wrote pages and pages detailing all the way I was failing God in my life. I made a list of all the things I wanted to change about my life. I wanted to spend money better. I wanted to cut out any and all entertainment out of my life figuring I didn’t deserve to have fun when millions in the world are dying without the knowledge of God. I wanted to never sin so God would never be displeased with me. The last day of the weekend as I was driving back to Kansas City completely dejected at the lack fruit my weekend produced. It was then I heard the Lord say to me: “I delight in you”. It was a line that struck me in the gut. I pulled over to the side of the highway with tears streaming down my face as I hung my head. Then he spoke to me again, “lift up your head, my son you have been loved and are loved.” I got out of my truck and walked over to a bridge just off the highway overshadowing a small trickle of water. I leaned on the railing and wept thanking Him for actually speaking to me.
I had spent the better part of a year, trying to earn something that was already mine. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists trying so desperately to earn the affection of my creator and savior that he had already endowed me with. I don’t regret that year of my life I spent seeking God with everything I had and in every way possible. To this day I pray I’m always pursuing God with everything I possibly can; I just also pray I do it in the grace of Christ. The problem I was facing was confidence. I was not confident in His love for me, I was insecure in it. When he spoke to me that day after my retreat it woke me up. I realized that the answer to my anxiety, and desire to encounter God wasn’t found in my ability to strive but in my ability to rest. Rest in the grace he has provided in the cross. Rest in the love he expresses daily. Rest in the provision we has given me. It produced in my heart Gratefulness, and gratefulness slowly melted away the anxiety and fear that had plagued my soul. It lead me to intimacy.
Last week we looked at how God has loved us. Looking at three of the primary expressions of His love for us in history, today we will look at three ways God loves us. Three ways that he expresses His love for us daily. Again the goal of the first three posts on Intimacy is first to get an understanding of God’s love for us, so we can then know how to live our life in a way that best loves and glorifies Him.
Grace. “For the Grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self controlled, upright, and Godly lives in the present age. Waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and savior Jesus Christ who gave himself for us to redeem us from lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for His own possession who are zealous for good works.” – Titus 2:11-14 Grace is one of the first and clearest ways He expresses His love to us. In our day, grace is a message that has been misunderstood. Grace for many is a license to do as you please. It’s a message that has been preached defining our sin as superfluous because His grace simply covers our sin. Promoting the idea that we need not worry about how we act. However in the misapplication of grace we have cheapened this beautiful gift that is renewed to us every day.
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Jn. 14:15
As I talked about last week we are image bearers of God that have been broken in the image we bear by sin. Since the 
fall of man, sin has been the cause of much corruption. Sickness, disease, poverty, fear, depression, sexual immorality, lust, greed, pride, murder, etc. have kept humanity imprisoned in a sinful cycle un able to live in the peace we were created to live, and have kept us as objects of His wrath. The grace of God appeared placing the wrath of God we deserved on the son, and covered our sins so we could live in peace. However that was not the complete work of grace. Grace appears daily. Grace is the power of God to keep us from falling into the sin, and thus separating us from him. It does indeed cover our sin, but it also trains us to love him by keeping His commandments.
Grace takes depraved human beings, incapable of real love, joy, and peace and gives them the strength to overcome fear, sin and shame. Grace is the daily mercy of the Lord guiding us, and training us to live holy and righteous; transcendent from the effects of the fall. Grace is Jesus perfecting our faith daily. Lovingly keeping us from stumbling (Jude 24) and sustaining us until the day of our Blessed hope, Jesus Christ returns and completes our salvation by glorifying us with Him. Grace is one of the greatest acts of love God daily gives us.
Intercession. “But if anyone does sin, We have an advocate before the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” I Jn. 2:1; “He forever lives to make intercession for them” (us) Heb. 7:25
The second way He Loves us is through Intercession.
Jesus is our great high priest. He has voluntarily taken the position of intercession before the Father for you and me. Every passing day Jesus is our faithful witness (Rev.1:5) standing before the Father pleading our case. He atones for our sins, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal His love, His jealousy, his glory, his wisdom to us on the Earth. Jesus forever mentions your name, my name before the Father.
Often Jesus feels far off. When we pray, go to work, go to school, live our lives we feel like we are distant at best, of no importance at worst. This is where building our understanding of God’s love purely on how we feel can lead us to a misconception of His love. Instead we can rest and have confidence in the truth; You are on the Mind of God! (Psalm 139:17-18 “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand.”)The ministry of Jesus as our Great High Priest guarantees that we are not only on His mind, but that his thoughts toward us the redeemed or not of condemnation but of great compassion. This allows us to live life with confidence. We have a God in Heaven fighting for us, thinking about us, loving us amidst every trial, pain, fear, or accusation.
Holy Spirit; Revelation “But the helper Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send, will teach you all things.” Jn 14:26
One of the greatest daily expressions of God’s love is how He reveals to us himself through the Holy Spirit. Just as I reveal my heart in vulnerable way with my close friends, God has opened up His heart to us through the Holy Spirit so that we may know Him better. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has in store of those who love Him, These things God has Revealed through His Spirit, the Spirit that searched the deep things of the father’s heart… (We have received) The Spirit that is from God, that we may understand the things freely given us by God.” (ICor2:9-12) Catch that? The deep things of the Father’s heart.
God has not abandoned us to our own defenses, Jesus has not left us as orphans, but he has left with us the divine imprint of His nature to dwell within us. Paul speaks of this to the church in Colossi. He tells them not to be ignorant of the mystery of Christ living within us; our hope for Glory. (Col. 1:27) The Holy Spirit gives us direct access to God’s heart, and testifies the truth of Jesus to our hearts.
The Holy Spirit’s activity manifests in a vast number of ways. First, through the Bible. The Word is living and active. When we read it our Spirit comes alive with real power as we touch the truth of who we are and who God is. Second, through Prophecy. We can hear the voice of the Living God, whether in the Word, in our Spirit’s, or in another. Prophecy is often one of the most dynamic ways the Spirit moves. Whether to warn us, convict us, comfort us, or edify us; it’s how Jesus express His heart to us. Third, through Conviction. When we falter in our quest for righteousness or stray from the truth the Holy Spirit is faithful to lovingly convict, and discipline us so we stay in the way of salvation. Finally through special revelation. Dreams, visions, audible hearings of God’s voice, words of wisdom, words of knowledge etc, are all ways he reveals His love, His intention, and His purpose to us who abide in Him.
All three of these expressions of God’s love should cause us to fall into wonder at who He is, and who He is toward us. I have practicals that we will go over in time concerning “How to” have intimacy with Jesus, but to be clear there is no formula. There is no amount of spiritual discipline, no amount of striving, no amount of righteousness you can gain on your own accord that will cause you to enter into a deep relationship with Jesus. We only enter in through His grace and intercession as stay attentive to the Holy Spirit as He teaches us more about this blessed God we so deeply desire to meet.
In the interest of using my little online platform to promote some of the other internet peeps that I think are not only worth your time, but are favorite people of mine. Since I do have I high volume of hits a day, I have a few rules concerning links on my blog. (so my friends not linked don’t get offended)
Rule 1. You must have updated within the last month.
Rule 2. You must update your blog at LEAST once a week.
Rule 3. You must have posts that challenge and or inspire, me in my faith and understanding of God. I don’t have to agree with your posts, they just have to challenge and inspire me. Also must have some posts that make me laugh out loud from time to time.
Rule 5. (I skipped having a Rule 4 because I’m still mad about Favre being a Viking.) You must have content that I find can benefit the peeps who read here on this site.
So if you will simply look to your Right for updated links——–> You will see the list of links that I have collaborated over the years of peeps that I like, and blogs that I read.
If you have a blog and would like to have it linked here, or think I should link a blog or site NOT mentioned here feel free to post it in the comments.
happy clicking
I was 14 years old in the fall of 1995. My YMCA Basketball team had just blown it in the Mesa City Championship game. Leading up to the fateful game I seethed with anticipation. I had spent the whole day going over the plays in my head. We even showed up early to the Mesa Junior High Gym just so I could stretch and get my head ready for the big game
that would ultimately end in loss.
I heaped a lot of expectation on my 14-year-old shoulders. I was born with the build of a linebacker, the height of a Center, but the competitive heart of Mother Teresa. My whole life I had been a geeky, extroverted, people person stuck in the body of a could be professional athlete. Coaches always begged me to play sports, because they coveted a 16 –year old that was 6’4” 230 pounds. Jocks always begged me not to take weight training, because I’d out lift them then head back to the Drama club and brag about it. On that day in ‘95 I was determined to be a competitive basketball force. I was determined to be like my hero Kevin Johnson, and dominate them on both sides of the court. However, where I wanted to show up and eclipse the competition like Charles Barkley, I played more like Oliver Miller. (Die hard Suns fans know what I’m talking about) I couldn’t get the crowd, the people, the guys on the other team out of my head. I spent most of my time wondering how they all thought I was performing. I checked over at the sideline after every play to see the expression on my dad’s face. Was he happy? Was he frustrated? Did I do good? I was so focused on playing right, I didn’t play well.
How often in our pursuit of a personal, intimate relationship with Christ are we constantly so focused on everything else but the actual event at hand? It’s common place for most of us to enter into the time we spend with the Lord stressing over what He is thinking about us. Wondering if we are doing ok. Wondering how our friends, family, pastor, co-workers view us. There is so much mental and emotional traffic heading into our times with the Lord that we never actually develop a real and meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ.
“We love because he first loved us” (I Jn. 4:19) The key to getting our “head in the game” is first to gain a biblical understanding of God’s love for us. Over the next few weeks we will look at three aspects of God’s love: Today, How he has loved us. A look at how God has already expressed His unfailing love for us. Second, How God loves us. A look at how God expresses his love for believers presently. Finally, how God will love us. A look at How God has will express His love toward us in the future, namely at the Second Coming and Judgment day.
How God has expressed his love for us.
There are many, and I mean many expressions of God’s love throughout Scripture; through the Creation of man, to the Covenants made with Israel, to the imparting of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Because this is a blog post and not a book, I will define the three of the more distinct ways He has loved us.
Creation. “Let us make man in our image…” Because God is three persons in one deity, He is both internally and externally relational. Before creation the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit shared an intimate relationship with one another. The Father delighting in the Son, The Son in the Spirit and so on. At the apex of creation it pleased them (ps. 145) to create us, humans in His image so we could share in their loving relationship, so we could return that love in worship adoration and glory.
Psalms 8: 4-9 “What is man that you are mindful of Him? Yet you have crowned with glory and honor.”
John 17:24 “Father I desire that they would be with me… that we would be be one even as we are one.”
Revelation 21:3 ” Behold the dwelling place of God is with man, He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.”
Kant, Moltmann and many other scholars say God is unknowable because we cannot have knowledge apart from experience. However we were created to experience Him, that truth is evident every time we look into a mirror. We bear His image and His likeness. We were created to love, worship and give Him glory. It’s impossible to function in those roles we were created for apart from the experience and encounter of His love. We will never fully know God; never fully grasp the great mystery of who He is. However even as we gaze into a mirror dimly and prophecy in part we do grow in understanding of His heart. That knowledge leads us to worship.
“Make your ear attentive to wisdom, make your heart inclining to understanding,; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.” – Proverbs 2. He loved us by creating us. We love him by searching him out, ‘crying aloud for wisdom and understanding.’
Incarnation. (meaning in flesh) Another way he has loved us is through His stepping out of Heaven to accommodate humanity by taking on flesh and full humanity forever. Jesus Immanuel, who was fully God, who spoke the world into existence, created man with His hands, created and formed himself in Mary’s womb, so He could walk among His creation. He encountered what we encountered. He was tempted as we are tempted. He loved as we love, fully knowing his fate was to be despised and rejected by those very ones He so lovingly created in His own image.
Where other human constructed God’s, human rulers and kings, are depicted as unapproachable forces ready to smite anyone that tries to approach them. They give self serving commands; you obey and serve them or are killed. Where our God is to be feared, and He is all powerful- in His love for us he is also humble. Though He had the power to shake the Earth, demand worship, and throw smoldering fire at those who didn’t obey He became like us and served us. Especially to the priests and Pharisees He took the time to reason with them every day in the temple. Breaking down His eternal plan to them as simply as possible knowing they would reject Him.
What God has ever come down from its exalted place and served those it created? He saw it fit to wait until He was of age to minister. He saw it fit to be baptized, to pray, to fast, to party, to enjoy friendships and family. He saw it fit to obey His mother when she asked Him for more wine at a wedding feast, even though it wasn’t time for Him to do miracles according to the plan He had set before the foundation of time. In 10 billion years He will still be in flesh and relate to us in flesh. The Incarnation is one of the most beautiful ways He has loved us. It is another reason He is worthy of our honor and praise.
The Cross. This was, is and will forever be that ultimate expression of God’s love for us. I once was so bold to tell an intern of mine that if the message of the cross didn’t give his heart any sense of gratitude, or joy then I did not think he had really understood it, or was saved. If the Incarnation causes us to worship at His humility and patience with us, the cross should cause us to weep in adoration. Forever and ever the hosts of Heaven worship Jesus seated at the right hand of the Father in Heaven “because He was slain.”
Ephesians 2:4 “God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.”
Romans 5:8 “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ Died for us”
John 3:16 For this is How God loved the world that He sent His only begotten son into the world.
At the fall in the beginning of human history sin was introduced into the world tainting the image of Christ that we were created to bear. Causing us to operate in ways we were not created to. Wickedness, shame, fear, greed, lust, pride, malice, envy, and strife became the daily affliction of mankind. God being a just and righteous God, has to judge wickedness therefore all were destined for eternal punishment in the Lake of Fire; we are all deserving of Hell. Jesus in His mercy came to us His enemies, took upon himself the wrath we deserved and gave us access to the throne and his heart. He is held by no law, held by nothing but His word. He didn’t have to save us, he could have wiped us out and started over again. He in His wisdom thought it better to take on our wrath and die for our sins, instead of losing us to our sins.
The cross is a subject I should take a year to write every day about as it’s beauty, mystery, wisdom, and love is so evident I get tender simply broaching the subject. Suffice to say, getting an understanding of the Cross is the quickest way to Intimacy with Jesus. So much about His nature, His heart, and His humility is said in that one action that we will spend eternity marveling at it’s brilliance.
There are many other ways God has loved us throughout the Biblical history, but I will end there for today. That day in ‘95 after the basketball game I was so worried about my Dad, and what He thought about my play. The opposing team celebrated there victory as I hit the court in shame and tears at our horrible loss. I instantly felt the arms of my Dad grabbing me off the ground, giving me a huge hug telling me how proud he was of me. In our search to know Jesus in a close intimate way we must learn to rest in the love he has already expressed toward us. Knowing that there is no shame or fear in His love.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with loving-kindness” Jer. 31:3
As I take on this task of writing 2,000- 3,000 words a day, I often find that much of what I have to write about is superfluous, some of it is mildly interesting, then some of it is a home run. This is not a home run, but it is a blog post and I have committed to crank this thing back into high gear and produce content. So in the interest of you (the reader) getting to know me (the writer) here’s a little peek into my world. An excerpt from today’s ramblings:
Friday Carrie, Natalie, and I took a trip to my favorite place in the world, the used book store. If you’ll allow me to be out right whimsical and capricious, I would liken used book stores to that of an explorer discovering a new world, or being 20 again and falling in love for the first time. There is so much mystery, and wonder as to what you can discover in the rows and rows cataloging the human journey in many arenas.
Upon approaching the door, usually littered with fliers and sleigh bells alerting the man behind the counter that patrons have
arrived, I open the door and inhale the musty scent of worn pages. Surveying the prolific mountain books spanning every genre I could hope to cover, I beeline straight to the history section hoping to explore a piece of time I haven’t yet learned about. Once I’m done there, it’s over to the Biographies, then Sociology, then Philosophy where I usually gravitate toward the 1600’s era of Descartes, Pascal, and Huygens. Giving my psyche a breather for a minute I skip over to Literature looking for first edition classics, and the occasional Hemingway. Then It’s on to the real reason why I come; The Christian and theology sections.
You know it’s a good book store when they have chairs or stools in every aisle, with the books pushed back on the shelf just enough so you can set your espresso down while you skim through one of your findings. My favorite book store in Kansas City is Prospero’s Books in Westport for the very reason. However if we are mentioning favorites, my absolute favorite is a short 45 minutes away in Lawrence, Kansas called “The Dusty Bookshelf”. (pictured)
The Dusty Bookshelf is especially delectable for 3 reasons. First, the amount in sheer volume of books is bar none to anywhere else in the region. Two, the amount of books per genre is also startling. Where some bookstores have a few books on Philosophy, then a few on Sociology then a hefty dose of romance novels to fill space on shelves, this store is run much like Disney Land; there is something for everyone. Third and final reason: their prices are so reasonable a poor man like myself never leaves empty handed.
Where it may seem strange or geeky to some, books thrill me. Whether I use them as tools for studying the Bible, as resources for understanding history, or as contrasts to help me as a teacher better articulate truth. No matter the use if I have a free day off and time to get out on my own, you can bet that I’ll be in some bookstore, coffee in hand and nose pressed firmly inside the pages of some literary work.
It’s my hobby and I love it.
Another excerpt from the gamut of messages I had the privilege of delivering this summer. Mostly I’ve been using the DVD’s of my messages to learn how to edit, upload, and distribute videos online from my computer. Many more messages coming, but wont all be from me!
Here it is:
I would like to take the next month and talk about I topic that I not only love to talk about, but a topic that I feel needs clarity: Intimacy with Jesus. This being an introduction to the subject I want to lay out a simple overview then go in depth in the various areas over time.
The topic of intimacy with Jesus immediately throws many off. Whether it be men not wanting to use the word intimacy in the same sentence as a male figure. Or woman picture themselves putting on a wedding dress to symbolically “marry Jesus”. When I talk about Intimacy I’m not talking about romance in a sensual way, but about love in a personal subjective way. Here is the definition I’m using:
Intimacy: is our close, familiar, and loving relationship with the living God through his son Jesus Christ. We were created to know and love God with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength; Giving all we HAVE to know the joy of his heart and give him glory.
Understanding intimacy with Christ can at times be a quandary. It’s all about Jesus and His glory, yet there is a place where it is also necessary to understand his love toward humanity. Paul exhorts the church in Ephesus “That you would know the riches of the glory of His (Christ’s) inheritance in the Saints” (eph. 1:18) In other words that we would know the worth and value Christ has in us.
The truth of the matter is when we see God differently, we see ourselves differently, then see others differently. Knowing His affection and delight in us His saints will spark us to love Him in ways we couldn’t in our own understanding. Understanding His heart for us, his blessed creation, empowers our hearts to give Him the glory and honor, and worship he is not only worthy of, but requires from His saints.”We love because He first loved us.” IJn. 4:19
However in our understanding of God’s loves it’s easy to take only our subjective understanding about his love as doctrine, and never actually get a holistic Biblical picture of God in this regard. Therefore the next month will first take a look at how God has loved us, presently expresses His love for us, and how He will love us. Once we are able to get around those topics I will write how we then respond to the expressions of His love, and how this knowledge causes us to live as we were created to: confident in love.
I know, I know some long time followers of this blog are already rolling their eyes: “Zack you’ve started ambitious series like this before, and rarely follow through!” that used to be true but the difference here is that I already have most of these posts written… so unless apart from apocalyptic disasters, or the internet somehow crashing, I feel confident I can follow through this time.
If you have any questions concerning this topic leave a comment. As I tell my students, asking good questions is the path to understanding. (I mean that in the most non “zen” way I can possibly say it)
Derek Webb has been the center of much controversy for taking a page out of Tony Campolo’s play book by using a few choice four letter words to make a point to fellow Christians in his new song “What Matters More”. I agree with the question he is asking in the title of the song, and it’s a question I’d ask him as well as myself. To give you a little taste of Webb’s angst driven lyrics before I comment more: 
“You say you always treat people like you like to be
I guess you love being hated for your sexuality
You love when people put words in your mouth
‘Bout what you believe, make you sound like a freak…
…Cause we can talk and debate until we’re blue in the face
About the language and tradition that he’s comin’ to save
Meanwhile we sit just like we don’t give a (Explicative)
About 50,000 people who are dyin’ today”
I realize half of you are probably asking, “Who the heck is Derek Webb??” Being in Youth ministry I have a lot of teens who listen to his music, and have been asking me about this song. Until the recent Twitter explosion concerning the song I hadn’t had the time or desire to comment properly. However this morning my thoughts on the matter ironically lined up with the passage I was studying so I’ve decided to share my thoughts.
“In this love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.“ I John 4:10-11
The question at hand in light of this verse, the current state of the church, Derek Webb’s song is indeed: “What matters more”? Over the last 50 years we have seen the church get more bent out of shape that homosexuals exist then they have that most people in the church practice heterosexual immorality. We have seen churches protest outside of TV studios when Ellen DeGeneres “came out” on her show Ellen, then changed the channel over to Friends and had little to say about the casual sexual immorality being promoted there every week. Church goers get mad about cursing in their christian music but don’t care about it in their movie watching habits. Derek Webb writes the song above alienating himself from many in the church while blogging that his life goal is to bring peace and unity. I rebuked a teen for using a curse word during my Sunday morning youth service, then went home spilled hot coffee on my lap and exclaimed the very same curse word. We are hypocrites all, we are sinners all; and that’s the beautiful point.
Peter reminds us that we are commanded by Jesus to live a life that is unreachable: “You shall be holy as He is holy”. (IPeter 1:16) Is the homosexual in sin? yes. Is the heterosexual hooking up with his girlfriend in sin? yes. Is the guy looking at pornography behind closed doors in sin? yes. Is Derek in sin for cursing publicly? was I in sin for cursing privately? yes.
Being created in the image of God, sin has caused us to be but pale reflections of what we were created to look like. To be holy is to act, and operate in the way we were created to act and operate. Is this not why the gospel message is one of great hope? Peter goes on to say: “But with the precious blood of Christ… Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again”
Though we are broken in the image we bear, in Christ we are able to achieve true righteousness and reflect the glory of God. But not apart from Christ. Where I feel Derek’s song is in error is obvious, it’s a slap in the face of many well meaning believers who at times let their brokenness get the best of them. The error on many in the church is getting so up in arms about a curse word in a song that many have been hasty to claim that Derek Webb is no longer saved.
“If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” I’m grateful for Webb’s zeal in drawing our attention away from specific issues and onto the thousands of souls dying everyday with out the message of this great hope and love which we have received in Christ. I’m also grateful for those who have called him out and are fighting for righteousness in Christian music. But I’m most grateful for Jesus who has taken our puny attempts at representing his name well, and rewarded us with mercy, and is faithful to perfect us in love as we learn love one another.
What matters more? The testimony of how Christ has taken our broken, sinful, and wicked hearts and redeemed by his unfailing love. The testimony of how Christ has made a way for us to rightly bear the image of His Father and have access to Heaven. The testimony that He is returning to make all things new, to eradicate sin and suffering, pain and greif, fear and striving. The testimony that there is freedom in the blood he has shed.
What matters more is the testimony of Jesus Christ.
Yes folks I am slowly but surely creeping back into the blogging canoe and rowing my way back to blogging relevancy. With that Random rantings issue number 97: action!
Congratulations to President Barrack Hussein Obama for winning the Nobel Peace prize today. I know there were many worthy candidates out there who have been laboring tirelessly for decades, but I’m glad they gave it a rookie President who hasn’t accomplished anything yet in nine months of office. Sure he disarmed the Polish missile defense and opened the door for Iran and Putin to wreck havoc- but hey, he’s a peaceful man with a nice smile. #norwegianfail
“Stupid is as Stupid does” makes a reprise this week as an 18 year old genius burglarized a house only to leave his cell phone behind. He was found by the home owner of the house he was burglarizing holding a Nintendo Wii and a jewelry box. At least he was kind enough to leave his phone as collateral.
Fantasy Football: Currently I am 3-1 this week I go up against my buddy Caleb Culver. Dave Sliker got the beating he deserved in week two, shortly after my top player Frank Gore went down for 4 weeks. We play in a 16 team league which means waiver wire pick-ups are sparse. This week I have Rivers on a bye and was forced to resort to the only available starting QB- Dante Culpepper. If I win River-less and Gore-less it’ll be the miracle of the ages!
The New York Yankees are the favorites to win the World Series as Playoffs kicked off this week- or pitched off? For the first time in my life I will be rooting for the Yankees to win it all. Why might you ask? Because I can’t stand the Yankees!! It’s hard to maintain a dislike for a team that hasn’t won anything in a decade. I’m hoping they win simply so their name can once again be synonymous with the sound: grrrrrrrrr!!!
As a new parent my ear’s perk up when I hear news about education. In Kansas City it’s usually bad news as the school systems are about efficient as the Chiefs Offensive Line. However I’m thankful I don’t live in Ireland where they are beginning to require students to bring their own personal toilet paper roll to school. What happens to the kid who forgetts to take it in with him? #irishfail
Returning to blogging has been a harder endeavor then I imagined. My regret in neglecting this site is tied to my destiny and desire to be a writer and a messenger of the gospel. It’s not only what I know I’m called to be, it’s what I love the most. In the next couple of week I am hoping to write 2,000 words a day. Some will end up here on this blog, some will end up in the recycle bin. Either way keep reading.
Improvisation and creativity are two things that I love in life; especially when done well, and the Gaza City Zoo tried to get points for both. A zoo without zebras is like Glenn Beck without democrats: empty. The Gaza City Zoo knowing this took black and white paint to a few donkeys to remedy their lack. Not quite the same. #zoofail
Most should know if they dont by now that I’m a bit of a Star Trek fan. You can imagine my excitement when I tore the wrapping paper off of Season 1 of The Next Generation DVD set my wife purchased for our anniversary gift to me! Now I just need the next six seasons. #epicawesome
I love Random Ranting Friday. In fact I think this nonsensical weekly post is one of the things I miss most. (even if this was shorter than usual.)
Until next time!
