How then shall we live? my conclusion…

Well friends after much contemplation, and many opinions received here is where I’m landing.

Many who left comments missed the question that I was asking in the first place. My question is not if indulgence in entertainment is right or wrong, righteous or unrighteous, but needed. I said this, “I fear that in our legal right to enjoy things of this world we are missing the fullness of what is available to us in Christ.” I’ve come to a conclusion the issue is not one of legal right, or conviction; simply it’sthis: Vision.

Through out church history the pendulum of morality has swung back and forth between two extremes, Legalism, and the freedom of indulgence. The problem with staying at either of these extremes is that both are partly right, and both are partly wrong. There is a middle ground to be found, and it’s vision.

Most of us have vision for where we want our life to be (i.e. wife, kids, career, travel, etc.) but few have a vision for where they want their heart to be. My vision, is in 10 years, I want to be more desperate for Jesus than I am now, and still praying with the fervency and consistency that I am now. I want to be moving in signs and wonders, and I want prophetic unction on my words when I teach and preach. Therefore I have decided to live my life in such a way, to best position myself to gain these things. Obviously it’s up to God to move through me, and reveal his heart to my heart. But I’m living my life in such a way to gain those things, and I refuse to be altered from my path. Which for me Movies, TV, and frivolous Internet surfing are not within the parameters of the vision for my heart. It’s not a law, meaning if I watch something once with someone, it’s not an illegal action, but a step outside of the boundaries of my heart.

Others my not have the same vision as I do, and are seeking different things in Christ. Therefore, the weight doesn’t rest as burdensome on them. BUT Ultimately, I believe it will. As we grow in grace, and pursue his heart, our vision to want more of his heart increases.

Us in the Prayer movement have such a vision. Us leading the prayer movement are pursuing signs and wonders, are pursuing lives wholly and abandoned. If I’m wrong then we all need to sit down next time Misty starts singing, “How far will you let me go! How abandoned will you let me be!” or “remove everything that hinders love”. We in Houses of prayer have a greater grace on our lives to go harder than those outside. Not that we are better, but just by simple math of hours spent in prayer. Our vision should be higher, and is higher. As wanna-be friends of God the allotments we allow our selves are hindering where we want to go in God yet we refuse to remove them from the place of hindrance. This is where my question was rooted. Just as Elders and Overseers in I Tim., 2 Tim., and Titus, were told to be held to higher standards and completely above reproach, I believe Fore-Runners fall into this same category. They have to, otherwise how are they any different from the youth movements of recent history, that made noise of Relevance, but had no bite to their bark. The time for us to ask hard questions is now.

My friends of the Prayer movement, revival is coming very very soon. The standards and culture we build this ship with are the walls that are going to have to keep that ship of souls afloat.

What is the vision for your heart? What are the things in our lives that we can do with out, and give to our beloved as a love offering, not a plank in a religious agenda.

How then shall we live?

talk to me…

my thoughts right now…

I’ve been really busy this week writing my teaching outline for a class this week, but Tomorrow I plan to write Part II of “How Then Shall We Live” which still seems to be growing in opinions. Though, I have come to a conclusion in my heart, and I will share it tomorrow.

Ironically tonight, I watched “24″ for the first time. Sliker, Steeno, Sorge, Wood, Powers and others came over to my house for a BBQ, but said they would have to leave early to watch the show, so I borrowed a friends TV, and accommodated them at my house. The show was what I expected: a well woven tapestry of suspense and un-resolved tension, hemmed off with the inexplicable “stay tuned next week for…” Not horrible, I can understand why people like it, I’m just not going to watch it for reasons I will outline tomorrow. (see… the un-resolved tension is already carrying over to my blog!)

On a different note, I would like to say that I’m so grateful for the people in my life. My beautiful Sister, Mother and Father, Kyle, Jared, Shawna, Alisha, Clay, Leah, Emily, Stuart, J, and Jon, and many others. As I gain fellowship with the Father, I’m blessed by the fellowship I’ve gained with these wonderful people I stand with, and most, have stood with for year after year after year in the Night, Beholding the Beauty of Jesus. I’m blessed by their lives…

I’ve started praying St. Francis of Assisi’s Prayer every morning, and I like it alot so I’m sharing it with you:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Jesus I miss you… come quickly…

Random Rantings… Sunday

Hello friends welcome to the displaced Random Rantings Friday err Sunday… this is actually my favorite post every week, but that’s just me… ok let the randomness begin!

I just picked my nose in the prayer room, and was caught by to girls sitting behind me… awkward

The U.S. has finally put to use H.G. Wells’ creativity, and developed the “Ray Gun“. No fool’n, Ray guns will be issued to the military in 2010.

Scientists have found that Brain damage erases smoking addiction… I can see the Phillip-Morris public relations committee spark an ad campaign promoting this new truth… “Wanna quit? get hit with a stick!”

Another night-watcher is bloging. His name is John Barclay. He is one of the most wonderful, diligent, and interesting people I’ve ever met… I mean that without overstatement, check out his blog.

Someone tee-peed my house with “24” stickers and pictures of Jack Bauer, because of my “how then shall we live” post Friday. Ok not really, but based on e-mails I received I’m sure some thought about it.

My birthday is coming up!! February 18th! I will be turning 25 years old! I remember on my 21st birthday I went to the bar to buy a beer legally (sadly different era in my life) So what will i do when I turn 25? I think I might have my party held in the Avis car rental lobby… we’ll snack on complimentary mints and coffee, and celebrate buy renting a car! I’m witty and funny i don’t care what you say!

Thursday night/ Friday morning I was sitting at a diner with 2 of my best friends, Kyle, and Jared, when the Sun came up over the horizon. It hit me that I hadn’t seen the Sun in…no joke… 2 weeks. So I talked them into staying up all day with me. We did, we drove to Lawrence KS, and ravaged all of their used book stores and coffee shops! It was Awesome

Speaking of used books… I’m a book-a-holic. I was looking through Mike’s books the the other day in his office, and I looked at Stuart and said, I’ll have this many one day you watch! I think the reason why I read so much and buy so many books, is because I never went to college. So my massive library is kidda like my diploma hanging on the wall.

In High School I had a secret crush on a girl named Betty Jo. Pretty much 9th, 10, 11th, and 12th grade. We were in drama class together in 10th grade. Ironically When we did the play Cyrano de bergerac in class, I was casted as Cyrano, and she was Roxanne… hmmm although I actually have a rather small nose…

I heard a rumor, merely a rumor, Ross Perot is giving it one final shot… His ears seem to get more and more droopy every time he runs, the character drawings of him this time should be amusing at least…

My Phoenix Suns are on a 16-0 streak! This is their year! It’ll be Phoenix vs. Washington in the finals, Phoenix in 5…you watch

Since my Birthday is coming up (Feb. 18th), I thought this would be a good time to shamelessly link my Amazon Wishlist

yep that’s it for today, everyone leave a random comment…

I’m out like Steeno’s candidacy

p.s. my sail was burned up last week, but i think it’s for the better, I’m going stay in this stream for a while though, I like the stream weather it’s serious or not, but I’m also learning to love root beer while I wait, in fact I might stick with root beer for awhile… or at least until another stream comes into view… I got nothing but time, and rootbeer, it is well with my soul…don’t understand…probably for the best… but hey it’s random day!

Random Rantings Friday will be postponed until Saturday…

I’ve had a very long contemplative day.

I’m in one of those wonderfully quiet contemplative moods, and don’t feel like being very witty or funny, so I’m not going to be. I would to say thank you all for your comments and what not concerning my last post. I pray that the Holy Spirit would lead us all with perfect leadership as we run the race set before us. Counting all things a loss that we may gain Christ, forsaking all things that we might know him.

All I want is Him, totally, fully, completely, wholly and inexplicably. I desire to see his face, like I desire breath air. To sit in his councils, to stand in his presence…

come Lord Jesus

How then shall we live?

So tonight in the prayer room I plan to develop my previous article on Jesus, A Constitutional Monarch… till then I have a question… and I realize i’m opening a can of worms…but here we go…

I’ve wondered where the balance is my entire life on this issue; entertainment. Last year I took 10 months and didn’t watch any movies, television, or anything. My Spirit felt so clean. Over the holidays I made allotment for holiday movies, and I’ve enjoyed family movies like The Incredibles, but where should we as a people wanting to be set apart for Christ live? I’ve been in the prayer movement about 5 years, I on a consistent basis have heard myself and people in general with good intentions, praying for this generation against the spirit of this age. However after the prayer meeting getting together to watch a movie perpetrating the very thing we just prayed others wouldn’t be caught up in.

How then shall we live?

My intentions are not to implicate anybody by this statement, but even many in the prayer movement and their obsession with shows like 24, or Lost, or Gilmore Girls, at what point do we say yes I’m allowed to watch those shows, but for the sake of being set apart I choose not to. At what point do we truly live with the attitude of how much can I give God, as opposed to what can I get away with. To be like Job and making a vow to put no unclean thing before our eyes. I talk about Count Zinzendorf, John Wesley, Johnathan Edwards, Evan Roberts, John G. Lake and the revivals they encountered, when I study their lives they were completely abandoned, giving hours to prayer, and study. I fear that in our legal right to enjoy things of this world we are missing the fullness of what is available to us in Christ.

Again these are questions not implications.

I love Jesus severely, and I’m so jealous to encounter him in my life. I believe those of us laboring in houses of prayer are the fore-runners that will usher in the coming revival, and many are ones that will be called on the lead during the ensuing tribulation to follow. How I and we prepare our hearts for those days, consists of how we live our lives now. What does it look like to be set apart in this wicked culture? So I’m soliciting your thoughts, again I go back and forth on this question… I have so many thoughts on both sides, so if you are a lurker, this is your time to speak up, This page averages 300 views a day so I know the audience is large enough to get a wide range of views…what are yours?

ready….fire!

What I’m contemplating right now…

As I continue to study the Kingship of Christ, here is a thought I’ve been stuck on considering eternity…

In eternity, we will have free will, because love is a choice and we will choose him for all eternity. But that means that the choice to choose something else has to exist i.e. sin…but because it says we wont falter, we won’t sin for all eternity, but yet have to opportunity to if we dared.

his leadership is perfect

anyway there are no conlcusion to be found here… it’s just a fascinating thought to me… again because it speaks of love… at least in my mind… I can’t wait to be so in love with him, that my desire to be his, becomes a complete reality…

I love you jesus

oh the joys of nothing

I sat down to type today… here’s what came out:

The Cursor

Taunting little cursor

Like an impatient child tapping it’s foot

Blink blink blink

“any day now” it says

While formulating a creative strategy

It waits impatiently

I contemplate verbs and adjectives

But the cursor doesn’t understand thought

Reason, or knowledge

It’s purpose is that of action

To regurgitate the letters I type

Blink blink blink

I grow weary of his incenses

Thinking

Yet maybe logic is found in action

Reason must be put into play

But I live in theory

Aiming never shooting

Oh but he waits, waits for me to fire

Ok my little friend

Or better yet nemesis

Blink your blinks…you don’t scare me

Jesus, a constitutional monarch

Isa. 45:23 “By myself I have sworn, my mouth has uttered in all integrity a word that will not be revoked”

a constitutional monarch

This term has been rolling around in my spirit for the last 6 months or so. This summer Steeno and i were chatted in front of the coffee shop, when some bystander over heard our political conversation. He said he was a political science professor at some university. We got talking about Jesus as a physical king, and he used a term that I’m now coining as my own; Jesus, the Constitutional Monarch.

It works like this, Jesus is a sovereign king, what ever he pleases he does, but he is held to a constitution, rules of his conduct that he must abide by… his word. His word is the law by which he hems himself in. When you really look at it, Jesus is a King under authority, his authority. He promises never to break his word, he promises to bring justice to the oppressed, he promises to be gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love. He promises punishment to the wicked, kingship to the Jews, salvation from sin. He can do whatever he wants because his sovereignty knows no end, but in his inexplicable humility, he has constitutionalised his government by his word. Which he vows never to go outside of.

I love this idea! I love that he is Lord over all things yet, hems his own authority in. I love it because of the reason why he does it; Love. He does it so he can have us as his own! What does that say about his desire for us? What does that say to his character? He can have anything, and rule as harshly as stern as he wishes, but because of the inexhaustible love he carries for us, he chooses to restrain his great might that he may draw near to us! Oh I love Him!! Because he truly desires us. Because his love for my dark, puny little heart, has caused him to go to such great lengths. I love him because he has made up his mind that I’m the object of his affection, and not even his own fierce authority is going to stop him from enjoying me!

I love you Jesus!

oldie but goodie

I woke up today with this old rap-core song in my head. In high school I went through a phase where I only listened to hardcore music, and played in hardcore bands, and went to hard-core shows every Friday and Saturday night…I guess I wanted to be hard-core. in fact I used to “X” up, and roll with the “straight edgers” every now and then. But this morning the lyrics from one of those old songs came racing back to me, and tears filled my eyes. Here are the lyrics then I’ll elaborate:

I rip it right through the masses/ sacrifice into ashes/ I’m givin up what was past tense/ and I’m raised up like Lazarus/ I laugh at the strong man who thought I he had a hold of my eternity/ but it’s Christ that empowers me/ It’s the life I choose the live/ It’s those dreams that fade away/ it’s the battlefield we soldiers blaze/ I carry life beyond the grave/ Cause God knows I will never rest my head/ no time for us to sleep/ we concentrate on the Sun until our eyes bleed/ salvation carries a cost/ i must prevail/ death creeps like breeze/ but have no fear/ watch me inhale.

To some these lyrics may sound trite, but when I first heard them as a 16 year old in high school, a fire was lit in my heart. I for the first time caught a vision of wanting to be a martyr. He ends the song with: “We worship God  most high/ face to face with the truth/ and now were willing to die/ willing to die. I remember weeping when I heard this, I had no grid for the end times, or Jesus coming back, according to my pastor it was a hoax, and not literal. Something inside me said different, something in me knew that there would come a day when I and those I love would be faced with the choice to surrender their lives for the gospel. I believe this time is coming soon. I believe in the next 40 -50 years Jesus will be physically reigning on the earth… how then shall we live?

come Jesus

Story Time Monday

Since it seems that the general readership of this blog is intercessory missionaries, here are some of the miracles of had in fund raising…

3-4 years ago, Seth and Erin Parks, Kyle Gebhart and I all moved to Westport, downtown into a old house Seth had bought real cheap. The goal was to plant an inner-city church, and work with the homeless. That meant the drive to IHOP was 30-40 minutes no longer just down the street, and that gas was a hot commodity. I wasn’t quite on full support, I was a travel DJ for weddings and parties on the weekends, but even that was only $400 bucks a month, and I was broke.

Through a series of miscalculations, and just shear incompetence, I over drafted my Bank Account big time. My account balance was  -$450 dollars. What do you do when you have no income and a negative account balance? I had $20 in my pocket, it was going to have to last me through the next month. I had about 10 boxes of Mac and Cheese at home plus whatever Erin would let me eat, so I knew I wouln’t starve, but i didn’t know how I was going to pay for gas, to DJ, and to go to IHOP.  I begin to cry, and ask God for help, “I need a grand God!” which was about how much I needed to get back to zero and then pay the waiting bills on my desk. I felt like God was saying, ‘trust me’ and I was hoping I had the strength to do so. I stopped at the Gas station for one last fuel up.

I figure I’ll spend ten bucks in gas and save the other ten, to get to my DJ gig that weekend. I pull up and start fueling, out of the shadows comes a homeless man asking me for food. I have a personal rule to never turn down anyone on the streets who asks me for help, but in this case I’m hoping to ignore him. He asks me again, this time coming closer. My heart does that tugging thing, where it feels like a knot just tied up my arteries and the only freedom from it’s twinge is to give this guy something. So I look up to the sky and say, “trust you huh?” then take him in to buy a sandwich, I figure that’ll leave me with 8 bucks. Then he asks if I could buy him one for tomorrow as well…I do, 6 bucks. Then he asks me if he can get something to drink, at this point I’m like, “God you’ve got be mess’n with me!” I buy him some hot coffee cause it’s cold outside…4 bucks. Finally he asks me if I’ll take him to the shelter so he can sleep indoors…it costs 2 dollars to get into the shelter. I take him, but I’m not happy I’m talking to God the whole drive internally, occasionally looking up at the night sky shaking my head. I’d like to say something romantic like I the joy of the Lord overcame me as I gave extravagantly, but the truth was I was angry, but being obedient out of love. I dropped him off, gave him my last 2 dollars, at that point what’s 2 dollars? I prayed with him, and blessed him on his way. When I got home it was time for me and God to hash it out. Instead I got home, and relented. I prayed for the homeless guy and cried for mercy.

I woke up the next day to Erin dropping mail off at my door, one letter had a check for $600 in it, the other was $400; one grand. That week I got 4 more checks for $500 -$600 dollars, by weeks end I had $2,500. I was faithful and so was he. I needed him and he came through, not quite as soon as I would have liked, but it turned out better than I could have inmagined.

Jesus come quickly, I miss you!