surviving cellulitis/ worst pain ever!!!!

So it’s impossible to say my life is without action. This last month alone has rendered events of epic proportions. Almost getting shot, Bobcats, angry German Shepard dogs surrounding me, and a mirage of weird events, have lead me to be thankful I’m in Christ. If I wasn’t, I’d probably be like Marvin the paranoid android, I would’ve thought the whole world was out to get me. Well the tale of strange events continued yesterday as my finger swelled up to the size of Antartica.

This last Tuesday while playing the drums a small blister formed under the skin on the middle finger on my right hand. Over the next two days the blister caused my finger to turn red and purple. It swelled up to about 5 times its actual size, and was as painful as an Aaron Spelling creation. It swelled so big that I could no longer bend it. Nope, my middle finger would only stand at attention, which was awkward when my other fingers decided to rest.

Not having health insurance creates a different mindset. Most would have rushed to the doctor, not me. I decided it was just swollen from rocking out so hard that Tuesday. I put some ice on it, tried holding it above my head, and went to bed. I woke up 4 hours after having fallen asleep in massive pain. My finger had gone from the Aaron Spelling threshold straight to Richard Simmons, unbarareable. Not only did it hurt really bad, my arm was also starting to hurt. The infection’s pain was starting to spread up my arm; I figured that was a bad sign. I called my beautiful grandmother, who was a nurse for decades. She advised me that going to the hospital would be wise. I called Carrie, and my Dad, they both gave me the same advice. Proverbs talks about wisdom crying out in the streets, well it was crying out in the voices of those closest to me. So I set aside my healthcare pretenses and off to the hospital I went.

As I walked into the hospital I was completely oblivious that this large haven for sick and injured people would shortly become the zenith of all pain and suffering. (I’ve always been a little bit of a ‘baby’ when it comes to physical pain.) The doctor comes in and takes a look. I told her that I was a drummer, and aggravated my finger while playing the drums. She must have thought I was some kind of famous drummer because she told the nurses about me. One by one they come through, asking me if I needed anything, if I was ok, each sticking out their bottom lip saying, “Oh I’m sorry, that must really hurt.” At this point I felt like I was in some sort of Aaron Spelling TV show, “Zack0210” However after the swarm of swooning nurses, in walked the doctor. I felt my destruction coming. She said I had something called cellulitis, and started setting various sharp instruments out onto the bed I was sitting on. My stomach sank. She grabbed my hand and with no warning, or antiseptic, she began tearing open my flesh. Suddenly I realized how unprepared I am for the Tribulation. I yelled. I yelled really loud. So loud that the swooning nurses gasped sympathetically outside the room. Scissors, tweasers, and a scalpel, were the tools of my torture. Cutting, pulling, tearing, it hurt so bad I was covered in sweat, and seeing a white light when I closed my eyes thinking it was the end. I looked down at my hand to see a gigantic crator in the middle of my finger. Blood and other heterogeneous liquids were seeping out of the wound. She wasn’t getting the response she wanted from the infection. So she stuck a needle into the side of my finger, pushing it all the way through. My vocal dissatisfaction must have been deafening. Finally I heard the words I was waiting for, “All done.” Suddenly I felt what Sir Edmund Hillary must have felt when he reached the top of Everest. I had been to the peak of agony and successfully made it back alive. A nurse came in to bandage me up. She told me I was very brave. I rolled my eyes thinking, she’d have to be brave if Carrie was here, seeing her flirt with me. I thanked her as the doctor came in to give me the post assessment, and prescriptions. I left the hospital, and went home to recover from the doctor’s torture. I sat down on the couch, and went to sleep wishing the Pre-Trib’ers were right.

This is why I pray… Oh good Lord

I really don’t even have words to describe the lament I feel upon finding this story. Apparently Gap kids is starting to make string bikinis for toddlers. (story) 

Honestly I can’t say anything else read the article, fast and pray.

Jesus come quickly

Battle at Kruger

Ok so some of you may have seen this. Carrie told me about it… no words to describe. It’s just the most incredible window into the animal world I have ever seen. Watch it it’s unbelievable!

Tearing at another’s spirit

So I have a bad habit. A habit that many of us have. Deceiving someone to be funny then, before they completely freak out, you declare, “I’m kidding!” Relief for them sits in, but apprehensiveness usually lingers. I’ll give you an example. One day I walked up to Jared with an intense fury on my face. I said, “Dude! You left the iron on at the house! It fell over, set the carpet on fire, and burnt up most of my dinning room!” Jared terrified at the thought stammered for a few seconds, and then I relieved the tension. “Dude… I’m just messing with you, nothing happened!” He was relieved but the anxiety he felt lingered and his spirit felt hurt by me.

I bring this to attention because of my Proverb of the day:

 “Like a Madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I am only joking’.” Proverbs 26: 18-19

 Did you know that the word sarcasm actually means to tear flesh? It stems from the Greek word Sars, which means to tear or rip. Sarcasm is funny, but the humor is at the expense of another. The laughter brought about comes at the tearing of another person’s spirit. It takes us out of agreement with how the Father feels about a person, and becomes an agreement with the voice of accusation.

Sarcasm is something that I have thrived on. I think I got good at being sarcastic as a defense mechanism. I was always picked on and smacked around by my peers growing up. Sarcasm was the result of my insecurities and pain caused by them. If I couldn’t tear their flesh the way they did mine, I’d tear their spirits to re-gain some sort of dignity. However no real dignity was ever gained, just a deluge of injured relationships.

Sarcasm. It’s a hard habit to break, but by the grace of God, my tongue will no longer be used to tear at the spirits of others. I choose to speak life.

“Grace, grace to the mountain!” Zech. 4:7

The line theory

I have a reoccuring theme in my life I call ‘the line theory’. The theory is really what I feel to be a conspiracy by God wanting to teach me patience. The theory is this: I’m always and the end of any line. Not only am I at the end of every line, but I stay at the end, all  the way until I arrive at the line’s intended destination. I’ve tested this theory quite effectively at major theme parks such as Disney land, Six Flags Magic Mountain, and Knott’s Berry Farm. At each theme park I would show up when the line was really long. No one would ever end behind me, I was at the end the whole time. Occasionally a straggler or two would show up right as I was getting up to the ride and remark quite happily, “wow no line! this is great huh!?” I would kindly smile trying not to be the Grinch that stole their ‘no line’ happiness. ‘No line’ happiness… that must be bliss, bliss I have never tasted of.

I find my line theory carries over to the present day as well. While dreaming of a Tall Americano with an extra shot, I walked into my local coffee shop today. There was no one in when I walked in so I went to find a table for my stuff. When turn around to go get in line, no joke, 27 people are now in line all the way out the door. Instead of standing in that awful line I have sat down to write this post and share with you my ‘line theory’ .

Are these small and light afflictions working in me an eternal weight of glory? or just repressed angst? I sincerely hope for the first option.

Post for Alex on losing your salvation

This post is for Alex who had some good questions for me on my post answering the question of eternal security. (click here for post)

I spent 2 days writing a 3 pages post for you, concerning the topic of eternal security. During that time I never turned off my computer. Which caused me to forget a lesson I learned 15 years ago in my first computer class; always remember to save? Well I didn’t save, my computer got unplugged and the essay lost. Usually WordPress saves automatically which is why I wasn’t worried, however it didn’t. So getting up the gumption to type it all over again may take a few more days. Thank you for being patient with me.

However I will give you an overview or the jist if you will, of my point. In the post I answered one main question: Why is the subject of eternal security even relevant?

My answer in one word is: Eschatology. Normally I don’t quibble with theological matters. Meaning, I believe the gifts of the spirit are alive and active today. If someone disagrees with me, bless them. No matter who is right it doesn’t change our eternal standing, so an argument with my brother in the grace of Christ is not necessary. However in this case, I care about this question because it can determine ones eternal standing.

In the last days, “the love of many will grow cold.” Those with faith in Christ, who are saved will be deceived from the faith and take the mark of the Beast.

I Cor.1:8 says “he is faithful to sustain us until the end.” Which means what it says, he will sustain us. By saying you can lose your salvation I’m NOT saying that salvation is something that must be earned. I’m simple saying it’s a free gift that can be rejected. Further more I don’t think you can accidentally lose you salvation. This picture might be a bit crass, but to lose one’s salvation you basically would have to give the middle finger to God, and choose another route.

This is why the first and second commandment are so important. Love God. He love you and desires your love. He also knows that if you love him, you wont chase after other things. Love your neighbor. If you love your neighbor you wont be tempted to turn from Christ because you wont be filled with bitterness and unforgiveness. Hebrews 12 warns us not to let bitterness grow least you fall from grace. Jesus warns us in Matthew 6 to forgive, or your heavenly Father will not forgive you.

I care about this because I want to make it. I want those around me to make it. To run the race well. I care because I fear the Lord when he says the love of many will grow cold, I pray that’s not me, or those I’m in leadership over. The Lord is so good to us, and will sustain us. He made me alive when I was dead, I know I will love him forever. I do not forsake the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained by doing good according to the law, Christ died for nothing. (Gal.2:21) Therefore I rest in his grace, so that I don’t fall away. So that my love will never grow cold. Can it? Yes! But by the grace of God it won’t.

throw this into the ‘are you for real?’ file

I have heard of parents naming their children some pretty crazy things. I met one kid once who was actually named ‘ESPN’ after the sports tv station. Well today I met a kid was named something much more redeeming, but yet reaches the zenith of obscure names. Honestly I kidda like the idea, but it makes your head tilt a little when you hear it. The kids’ name is Jesusislord. No joke his first name is Jesusislord. His parents wanted to have people make that declaration every time they said his name. Although I’m sure they find it hard to yell at him without feeling like they are swearing. In fact if you think about it, I bet it works out in Jesusislord’s favor. If his parents are God fearing people, They probably have a hard time yelling his name with any type of anger in thier tone.

I bet they just yell J.I.L.

Either way I thought it curious that that first name is in existence.

Alive in Baghdad

I’ve been watching this video podcast for a year now call ‘Alive in Baghdad’. It is a video journal by a local Iraqi living in Baghdad. He documents what is really going on day to day. The things you hear about on the news are from a social-political perspective. This is the raw footage from someone just trying to stay alive in a city falling apart everyday because of fighting.

check it out : http://www.aliveinbaghdad.org/

It’s very interesting.

dropping a matter

Proverbs 17:14 Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

A quick morsel…

Often times I’ll be in a discussion, or debate with someone where both I and the person I’m speaking with know that the line between discussion and quarrel is being toed. I’ll feel a pull in my gut. “Zack, don’t go there, don’t push them.” But for whatever reason I do it. All of us do, and for many reasons. The primary reason? Pride. I want to be right, all of the time. However in the end of such a quarrel, not only do I end up not  right, but usually frustrated and with an injured relationship to mend.

Kyle once intervened before I was about to confront a friend about a rather meaningless issue. He gave me a note with this proverb on it. I read it. Thought for a second then went ahead with the confrontation anyway. There is another Proverb that could’ve been heard in that moment, “Wisdom is crying out in the streets. Who will listen?!.” Well after the confrontation, and the week long mending of the friendship, I wish I would have.

Drop a matter before it turns into strife. Forgive, forget, love, move on, what ever you have to do to drop it, do it.

Wisdom is crying out in the streets, who will listen.

Header pic…

The pic in my header isn’t a graphically enhanced photo… That was a real scene on a beach in Australia! I found the pic on flickr awhile back, isn’t it amazing?! get a good look because I’ll probably be changing it again soon.