Your situation sounds rough, and I know a couple people who have a similar situation to you. The answer is simple.

If you are Bible believing people, Genesis 2:24 lays out what a man should do in this situation:

“Therefore a man shall LEAVE his father and his mother and hold fast to his WIFE. and they shall become one flesh.”

I’m sorry for your situation as it is difficult. No doubt the dynamics are hard. But that said I pray your husband realizes that his service, even to his family, cannot come at the expense of his wife. You are his primary charge from Heaven. You are his primary enrustment from heaven. Because you are the ONLY one he made a vow to. You know “forsaking all others, clinging only to you…”

I will pray for you both. Unfortunately because I do not know you both and the situation I cannot offer any real advise. BUT I would confront him on it if you haven’t. The worst thing you can to is keep it to your self. Because if you do you will only grow in bitterness for your husband and his family.

Even then I know that’s complicated. Bless you, and I’m praying for you.

.::zack

My problem comes in when everyday wreather im home or not hes over his moms house until the we hours of the evening then come home and expect dinner. I have to remind him every single day to take the trash out or just to simple clean after him self. So at least when I come in from work I can just cook a quick meal and relax for the evening. We have been in our new home for over an year now I bought some portraits to place on the wall they have been sitting on the floor since day one. I just feels like he does nothng unless I ask him too and expect me to be superwoman in the 2 or 3 hrs I have free in a day.

I feel if he has time to go over his mom house daily and help her do this and that make sure her trash is out and clean and cook and fix things and go to the stores and help kids with homework He should be able to put in that same full time here where he pays the bills. His mom is capable of doing thing on her own not to mention her daughter stills lives at home and she has an 9 yr old son and she also has an 11 yr old adoptive son and a 4 yr old. She has help at her home I dont. Howver I feel the content battle between him and I cause he feels He should wait on them hand and knees but when it comes to this house hold or this relationship its last on the list.

In closing I feel like im sharing my man with 2 other women. He says he needs to play the male figure in their lives cause they are alone and have men so he feel the needs to feel those voids. In my claim I feel like inthe mean time how will my voids be filled who will be there for me. I feel bad cause I almost feel like Im asking him to choose between family and me but at the same time all Im asking is for a balance. His foundation is solid with them already we are trying to build a home and foundation and a family of our own but its me thats seems to be doing all the work. On another side I dont feel that he will be able to sevive without them he moved away just this past year but is over there even more. He might as will pay bills there also is how I feel. What should I do I need strong advise I mean I know I can only make any calls but I needs to knmow how to handle this no one seems to really understand me.

I dont wanna wait till drastic things happen to have a true relationship with him. Btw he says he’ll never change and ill have to deal with it. hmmmmm But weve been together 11 yrs it hard to just let go. He just only now propoosed and moved away from home only cause I left him.

Not that I wrote a book Any advise any feedback will be great! Thanks kind people

One thing I will say….marriage is supposed to be equal but I think the man has great accountability and has greater responsibility to keep peace in the house! I have counseled too many couples where men don’t take responsibility and they wonder why their wife is so naggy and controlling! A wise counselor told me and my husband that if the man makes the woman feel safe, secure, and loved then she’ll calm down! I think this is the best piece of advice for any marriage….secular or Christian!

(wink)

and if no one is refilling the coke bottle daily- you won’t last long at all!

Kind of like the old southern saying:

“Marriage is like having two straws in a Coke. If both are sucking on their straws at the same time you’re going to get down to nothing a lot quicker.”

Sometimes the best wisdom is the simplest!

I like the picture Mike paints. He says man and woman can only be satisfied in Christ. If a couple tries to be completed in each other it’s like 2 ticks but no dog. They eventually suck the life out of each other.

Only Mike in his mid-western tone could come up with that picture!

I think everyone who’s honest will have to admit that we want the Jerry MacGuire kind of thing in marriage, someone to complete us. I believe that’s because our culture has been fed the pop physcology that we need to get our emotional needs met to be happy, when the Bible teaches just the opposite.