How to love people that are Homosexual

An old friend of mine posed to me an interesting question yesterday, as I ranted briefly about how Hallmark having gay marriage congratulations cards annoyed me to no end. It still annoys me, but I want to briefly clarify where we as Christians should stand with the homosexual issue, especially when it comes to friends and family.  Because it’s simplifier than most think, and yet harder than many think.

First stance: Love, and when I say love I don’t not mean tolerance, because love is faithful to speak truth, but with that remember that love is Patient.

But we are to remain faithful to the person or person’s, not withdrawing from their lives, but bearing them in our hearts and serving them with tenderness. But never enabling their sin.

Second Stance: To treat all sin the same especially if they are a believer.

Honestly this one is really easy. I have friends and relatives who are alcoholics, promiscuous, and some who blatantly hate God. All these things are in the same category as acts of homosexuality. If someone I know is involved in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, and I am close to them, then I will say something. If someone I know does not believe in Christ and talks about their beliefs to me, I am going to be sure to warn the out of the kindness of my heart and my deep care for them, that if they don’t change that belief they are going to burn in hell. But I would only say that if I had enough relational history with the person. Relational history is key when it comes to pointing out people’s weakness, and you better be able and willing to have them do the same to you. If they aren’t beleivers, then of course they are sin. Your only hope then is present the gospel to them in love, and not give positive acknowledgment to their sin.

Third Stance: To get some perspective.

Understand the difference between wanting to help someone, and being self righteous. Understand the difference between trying to be kind and enabling the person to continue to live a lifestyle that will ultimately be to their detriment. Understand the concepts that make up the definition of love: speaking truth and not lies. Bearing all things, hoping all things, believing all things, being patient, kind, not envious, and never boasting in your self or righteousness. Love is more than smiling and being nice. It takes significant action and sacrifice, and with that remember: love never fails.

Fourth Stance: Be willing to finish what you start. Or don’t start at all.

If you are going to truly being loving and appoarch a friend or family member about their sin, in this case homosexuality, then you better be willing to take the hits, stand by them as they search for answers. Never falter in your opinion toward their sin, but grow in love for who they are.

With that you also better be putting twice as many hours into praying for them as you would would talking to them about their sin. Focusing on sin is never the answer, point them toward heaven and let the fire of God’s love burn away the chaff in their hearts. But for every conversation you have with them better be backed by that same amount of time in private praying for their hearts. For this too is love.

Fifth Stance: Know the difference between struggling with homosexuality, and  homosexual acts.

Being tempted to be gay, or having homosexual thoughts, are the same as having heterosexual thoughts. We don’t penalize people for their thoughts or tendencies. If we did every time none of us would stand. We love and help those struggling, we don’t shame them. That wouldn’t be love either.

Kris’ question: If your friend is gay and is getting married to his homosexual partner, do you go to the wedding? As always it depends. It depends on relational history, it depends on if you have made your objections none. My guess is that if you have a friend confident enough in their homosexuality that they are going to be bold enough to make a public statement about their homosexuality, as their friend I would have hoped the subject would have come up before then. If it did not, you are probably not close friends.

A homosexual wedding is the celebration of homosexuality, something I would never attend because I never want to celebrate homosexuality. Then again there is always that one-off circumstance.

“…and I will send you a helper…” John 14