I noticed Carrie for the first time during a prayer meeting in 2004. I had no idea who she was or what she was about. I knew nothing about her personal life, family or past. I knew nothing of her hopes, dreams, or the things that she defined herself by. I knew nothing outside the fact that her presence at the meeting made it hard to concentrate. The only thing I had running through my mind was: “My goodness! She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen!” She was beautiful.
Beauty is such a relative word, it’s definition seems to change the better you know the subject it’s directed toward. Over the last 6 years of getting to know Carrie (my wife of 2+ years) beauty has always been the adjective I’ve used to describe her. However the definition of beauty has changed over the course of time.
When I first noticed her, I thought she was beautiful because I was attracted to her. She had bright piercing eyes, and a smile that gave me goose bumps. She carried her self with a courage and focused intensity that convinced me she could conquer the world. If ever we found our selves in the same room, I would find it hard to keep my eyes off of her. She was beautiful.
As the years went by and we transitioned from strangers to acquaintances, from acquaintances to friends. The definition of beauty changed for me again. It still referred to her outer qualities, but now also to the nuances of her personality. She actually cared deeply for people. Her intensity and courage was the fruit of a tender heart that wanted to love Jesus and to serve people. She was thoughtful, and faithful to people and didn’t judge them by their weaknesses but saw them for who they could be. She was beautiful.
As we transitioned from friends to being in love I discovered even more and my definition of beauty changed. I saw a woman whose sole ambition was to be faithful to the heart of the Lord. I got to see her quirks. The little idiosyncrasies that comprised a picture of her that not many had ever seen. The grumpy look on her face she’d wear when she got hungry. The glitter in her eye when I could tell she was thinking about me. The way she’d just let the tears fall off her face when talking about Jesus. She’d never wipe her eyes as if every tear that fell added to the well of devotion she had spent so many unseen hours cultivating. She was beautiful.
The day came in October 2008, when I stood in front of my comrades, friends, and family ready to vow my devotion and life to her. The Doors flung open as a band played the Doxology. In walked the woman I’d vow to spend the best and worst times of my life with. I wept in that moment out of gratefulness, and out of pure astonishment that I was really marrying the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. She was beautiful.
A year later I’d stand by her side as she labored giving birth to our little girl Natalie. She was so calm as she refused to take any pain medication. She was so courageous as she took deep calculated breathes to save her strength. Natalie was born, and I saw the woman I loved hold another subject for which I would get to define and apply the word beauty. Never had I seen a woman labor with such zeal and fervor as my wife. I was so proud of her. They were soo beautiful.
Over the last two and a half years of marriage I have seen love for Carrie only grow and expand. As it grows, so does my definition of beauty. No woman could EVER be considered beautiful to me then my wife. Her beauty is matchless. Her worth endless. It doesn’t seem comprehensible that one day I’ll love her more then I do now, but as my definition of beauty changes so does my heart. I’m so blessed to be joined to this woman. I am literally the luckiest guy who has ever lived.
She is beautiful.